everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
