You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
