My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
