just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
