hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
