this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
