yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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