i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
