Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
