Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
