i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
