Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
