uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
