I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
