bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
