I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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