Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My feet surprised me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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