Me too!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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