We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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