I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Michael Bay diarrhea
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
