Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
