she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
