Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
