If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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