i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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