AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
