so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
