i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
