trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
