love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
