Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Randomize
