Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
