i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
