hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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