you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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