I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We are two peas in an std pod
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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