It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
