If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
