the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
