just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
