STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
