Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And then my night got REAL pukey
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
