if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
