I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
