how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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