I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
