Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
