You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
