You're my little dorito
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
