I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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