I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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