You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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